The Media’s Ramzan Vs What It’s Really Like

For most people I know, Ramzan is all about feasting and festivities. But truth be told, there is so much more to this month-long journey the last plate of chicken seekh I cleaned out with spicy chutney.


There’s feasting, but fasting comes first!



While every Facebook group, ‘foodie’ (Someone who knows how to use Instagram) and news site is salivating over the gorgeous offerings of Iftar around Mumbai and beyond, little is discussed about what makes the prospect of eating after a complete day of fasting important. This month of austerity results in plenty of mental and physical detoxification and in the process, it does a world of good for one’s level of patience. I can say the urge to assault the molesting crowd in a Dadar fast local goes considerably down during this month.


Sleep is for the week…ends



While it is bad enough that the world expects you to wake up every morning and be a productive member of society, the pre-dawn food and prayers mean that a practicing faster’s Circadian cycle goes for a toss. Sleep becomes like that crush you never had a chance with back in college and returns only when you allot for her a whole Saturday at the end of your busy work-week.


Broo! Chal na Mohammad Ali Road jaate hain!



It’s part fun and part exasperation at being asked/cajoled/requested/threatened (yes, that happened) by friends take them out to Iftaar. Sadly if only Ramzan automatically meant an all-expenses paid break from work/college. Yes that’s a Malpua. Yes I know it looks like an Omelette. Yes it’s really a sweet omelette. No don’t eat five of them at once bro.


You can eat, I won’t bite!



To practicing ones, the month is about abstaining from anything materialistic and instead inculcating patience and respect for one’s faith. For outsiders, it is all about apologizing repeatedly for eating/drinking in front of us and then wondering how we manage. The truth is, everyone salivates at the look of food because humans are built that way. But with the kind of tolerance we rozedars aim to maintain, people eating in front of us isn’t a sacrilegious offence that will make us approach the Supreme Court to protect our culture (except when you eat Kebabs. With chutney. And roomali roti. Y U DO DIS HUMAN?)


It is worth it in the end



The culmination of a month of restraint and fasting results in a lot of satisfaction among us. It calls for a much needed treat, a break from work, plenty of sleep and celebration. Yes, sheer korma is a good thing. No, I’d get it for you only after I finish a bowl of it myself. No, I don’t negotiate on that.

Now excuse me while I examine some fresh gastroenteritis tikka…

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